Having been or not....

So, here I am again, to report on this academic year's ''leadership'' achievements... mine, I mean. First of all, maybe I really do not feel a 'leader'. Exercising leadership? Maybe not even so. Maybe some of you are acquainted with the cartoon\comic series Asterix (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterix). There is one book in the series (in French, it is 'La Grande Traversee' -- 'The Great Crossing') where Asterix accidentally finds his way to America. It is important to say that Asterix is a Gaul living in the time of J. Caesar. And this is not a sci-fi story. Actually, he finds his way back to Gaul thanks to the Vikings 'discovering' him in America, then capture him and his partners as 'Indians' and return them to northern Scandinavia. But where do I want to get, you may ask? Well, in the closing pages, the Viking\Explorer, after learning about his 'mistake', having been accused by his chief of ''wrongly doing'...' and instead having spent the summer in Lutece (former Paris...), he asks ''am I an explorer or not? To be or not to be, that is the question...''.

So, am I a leader or or have I been exercising leadership? Let me go back to http://cambridgeleadership.blogspot.com/. On the 14th June you can find: ''...Leadership requires challenging, not meeting, the expectations of the other people in the game. That's what makes it risky. People don't like it when you fail to meet their expectations. But doing so is, pardon the cliche, a game-changer, experienced as subversive, not fair, not playing by the rules. ...Leadership requires the courage and skill to stay in the game for as long as it takes to achieve your purpose and to sustain the disapproval of those who like the game the way it is currently played, because it suits their purposes, whether or not it is in the interests of the organization or community as a whole. ...'' So, did I got anything, did I 'conquer' something? Let me present a list of 'got and did not get':

* I managed to contribute, I think in a significant manner and enormous effort, with deep personal, family and professional 'losses' and strain, to change the governance at the University. We have a new Rector, a new policy, a new hope hope to further change and improve. My opinion: He could not get it if it were not for a group of persons, myself included. In spite of this seeming a statment of some arrogance, if I was not elected Dean of Faculty when he was elected President of the Scientific Council, he would not reach the post of Rector 3 years later. I did or at least proposed and discussed\fought most the reforms in Faculty, which the other Deans not even tried to bring forward. 'My' faculty did changed and (I hope) it will never be the same again, in terms of political participation and driving force. This is why the only option to dim this is to ... force a merger with other faculty: possible and it will happen; It is easier to 'absorb' a state instead of building a wider inclusive community of nations...

* I did NOT managed to get a post in the ‘new administration’. I keep my post in the General Assembly, will hand over Deanship (my term is coming to an end). So, the analogy (allow me to point it) is like those who are kept in some location near the 'combat zone'. No new office, ''Washington-like trimings'',.. Maybe I did two capital mistakes:

a) I did not ask for anything: I was one of the 29 members in the General Assembly voting for Rector, I always put my vote towards having a change.

b) In reflection, (and this is a bit like those thrillers where you escape something and look back, analysing [assuming you have some kind of photographic memory] all the behaviours of all those around you), I am ware that, on warning and maybe in an overemphatic way against some risks, I could have been unknowingly interfering in some no-go areas. This may sound a sort of 'there you go again on the conspiracy theories' but it fits all the reactions, silences, no-attitudes, or even words or body languages that I felt 'out of place' at the time but did not interpret them as I do today. Wrongly?

* I was 'promoted', well, actually kept..., as President of the University 'Court' to deal with all disciplinary issues. It is a position of responsibility that I have been also exercising in the past 3 years, challenging past methods and forcing that all inquires are kept and taken to the very end. Unfortunately, I did make 'enemies' in this role. I discover many serious problems, which were needed to bring into the open in order to really boost a change.

* I did NOT get that job at FCT. Ie, going to Lisbon... I did went to an interview, it went pretty well until a question about why did I not got enough PhD students. The obvious response is my area of expertise and the difficulty there is to attract students to small, far from the main centres, universities. The PhD supervisor of the new Rector was there... Unfortunately, his help was not enough....I am aware and I agree entirely that one needs to have students but one cannot force them, namely PhD students, to leave a place or situation that they feel more convenient. All I can do is keep publishing and improving gradually my CV to attract people.


* Quite a few or even almost non 'visible' support at home.... These 3 years were like a bad mission that did not gave all the response I wished at the job level. I am to be kept in the 'messy trails' of an Assembly deeply divided, where in order to pass legislation (and assuming that the balance of power keeps as it is, as it may change in by-elections soon...) a lot of diplomacy will be needed. And I mean a ''lot'': early signs from the new administration (there is hope..., the Rector listens to me, still has not forced [as it was to be...] some legislation...) have revealed either some arrogance from some members (in terms of 'telling' persons about it, instead of receiving and processing it from the persons) or some anxiety in passing legislation in a hurry, showing fear (?) that if more time is taken then an organized 'opposition' will emerge... This may backfire if instead of a 'rise and shine' economical boost to the university we have severe cuts and the need to involve, make people understand... when they were 'told about it' before... Bad politics in the local 'Washington' offices...

* I am tired, recovering, having a few research projects to conduct, find the energy and ability to finish professional commitments I have from 2004 or 2005...

* I am NOT running for office (ie being Dean again). On the one hand, the 'constitution' does not allow me and on the other hand I am tired and also believe that it is good to have a replacement. New ideas from a new and better person. Hopefully... However, 'smoke signs' indicate candidates from the AAWP 'party' are more than willing to oblige and offer their services (AAWP = Always Always With [whomever is in] the Power [seat]).

* I am having a load of teaching for 2 full semesters, when I could only have 1 semester (with twice the workload). The reasons could be that those in charge did not want to pull through a full change in the share of tasks and then, yeah, I am Dean, am there in 'front', I am not Julius (Caesar) wife but must ''be above the other without any suspicion'' and so I accept it... I hope to survive, I hope to meet all the chalenges:

i) Teaching - some students do unfortunately take the 1st year as ' the gap' year in terms of ''breaking away with 'home''' and it is more like late teenage, less facing the obstacles (yeah, I also was there some 20 years ago, but... I left Liceu Camões with a really strong background of knowledge and ability...that seldom I see today; It worries me...)

ii) Publishing, creating, finding, discovering, be unique, force me to be unique, manage projects, groups, meet the demands from a international carreer,...

So, am I or have I been a leader or exercising leadership? I feel and felt more like the ‘trim-tab’ in http://media.www.buchtelite.com/media/storage/paper1203/news/2008/02/28/News/Steven.Covey.Motivates.Ua-3239755.shtml.

Moreover, I am gradually leaving my ''CO's'' posts.Any influence I got or had is going to be reduced to being asked (by some phone call from our 'local ruling' offices) by my opinion... (wishful thinking...)

But it was a great experience. I am happy to have been there, to have made a difference (I believe I did). Maybe I exagerated in my arguments when I did 'told' persons at the 'top' about 'it', ie what should be done. Even if with enough (maybe not...) explanation and justification to support my arguments. Maybe I am really that lone wolf and lone wolfs make bad team members (do they?). Maybe my personality clashes with others. Maybe I am tired.

So, I leave you now. I do welcome the new course, in Ponta Delgada, this October. This is great since it will show that we were not unique. Leadership is example. Are we a good example, at the level of becoming agents of change? As indicated in http://cambridgeleadership.blogspot.com/? Maybe some\all of you are.

Meanwhile I hope the next elections for Parliament will bring a change in governance to Portugal. From my part, I sent some mails to some e-site(s) mentioning a few tactical elements to the consideration of those in charge. Yeah, trim-tab all the way. However, how do I feel? Right now? I am fully ready, but also feel much like the character played by Sean Penn in the film Thin Red Line, by. T. Mallick, when in the end, the character played by G. Clooney is making an ''office speech'' to the those 'fresh' from another bloody confrontation.... .

Enjoy the summer vacations.
Paulo Vargas Moniz